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Song For My Mother [CLICK HERE!!]

July 31, 2007
music and lyrics by WILK
website size When I lost my mother a couple of years ago, it really felt like the end of a lot of things for me. The end of a generation in my family, the final link to a lot of my “extended family”. It felt like the end of a fully completed lifetime, that it was time for me to start something new. I guess I never realized how much of my life was defined by my parents, especially my mother, after everyone else was gone. We really became partners after my father died, and that was a gift for me, but when she passed away recently, well, that’s tough to put into words. Here’s an interesting thing about my mom. When I was young, I have to admit, I really didn’t think she was the most intelligent person in the world. She was happy ALL THE TIME!!! I just thought, “this woman isn’t paying attention, doesn’t have a clue as to what’s going on around her, is floating around in her own little world with these blinders on”. Well, then she got sick and came to live with me for what was to be the last year of her life. That’s when I REALLY got to know my mother, Phyllis Wilk the actual person. I can honestly say I NEVER saw my mother depressed in my entire life. Angry? Yes. Crazy? Definitely. Depressed? Never. It took me until the last year of her life to realize my mother was actually the SMARTEST person I had ever known. Always with a positive attitude, truly believing only good things were always ahead, completely in tune with who she was, and absolutely comfortable with that, we can all learn from Phyllis Wilk’s time on this earth.

I’m putting the entire song up this week, in honor of my mother, who [and this is a cliché that is actually appropriate] “lived her life to the fullest”. My mother was too large of a presence to just put up a short audio trailer clip of this song. You’ll actually hear my mom singing here. I recorded her on my cell phone as I was driving her to the hospital. This was close to the end of her life, she actually never made it back to my house. During that drive, we both knew that might be the case. She even asked me to drive past Rochambeau Ave in The Bronx, where she lived as a child, on the way. We just sat in silence in the car that day, which was unusual for us. In true Phyllis form, she made me laugh by singing to me, showing once again, in her own crazy way, that no matter what the situation, even in a life and death situation, she was gonna make sure I was OK, make me feel like it was all going to be fine. Her personality always stayed the same.
Here’s an interesting bit of information about this track….. I actually decided to add the recording of my mother to this song AFTER I had already completed the production. When I added her voice to the arrangement, I was amazed to find that she had been singing in the SAME KEY THAT I HAD RECORDED THE SONG IN!!! I was able to create a simple string arrangement around her that fit perfectly with the rest of the already finished production. Good ears, mom!!! Oh yea, one last thing………….she also sang a pretty cool version of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” on the way to my father’s funeral, years before. Get the picture? Here is a piece of the obituary I wrote for her when she passed away…………………

Phyllis Wilk ………...Truly a girl from The Bronx, over the last 15 years of her life, bounced around from Spring Valley, NY, to Florida to California, keeping contact with her roots, but also making sure she was personally involved with her grandchildren. Anyone who knew Phyllis knew that she liked to shop around. Phyllis left an amazing mark while she was alive. She adopted all of her children and that’s where THEIR luck began. A positive and optimistic spirit, she always tried to pass these qualities on to anyone who was around her. Nothing seemed impossible to her, and if you spent enough time with her, you began to feel the same way. She accepted life as it came, and always found a way to turn things around to her advantage. “Everything always works out for the best”, and “Beshert, beshert”, were the words she lived by. Over the past two years of her life, she endured various physical challenges, but faced everything with remarkable courage, always making sure everyone around her was OK. She showed that no matter what the end of your life brings, you never have to lose your dignity.
Anyone who came in contact with Phyllis over the course of her life will never forget her humor, her love and her adventurous spirit. Truly an amazing woman, she will be missed by everyone whose life she touched.
…………..In lieu of flowers, in Phyllis’ honor, please give some of your time to your local soup kitchen, homeless shelter, group home or wherever else your help would be appreciated.
“I swear to god you should have known her………”
Song For My Mother
[music and lyrics by WILK]

[verse 1]
Lately I find you’re on my mind
More than any other time since you died
I dream about you almost every night
I’m feeling kinda empty
Floating around, can’t find my way
I’m feeling disconnected more every day
I have to admit, I’m loosing my grip
I think I might be falling

I can’t seem to get myself together
I often wonder if I went away
If anyone would notice I was gone
I thought of that today, I think about that most days

This song is for my mother
I swear to god you should have known her
I can’t get thru to my sister or my brother
They won’t speak to one another

[verse 2]
There’s nowhere to go, I’m so confused
The answers to my questions never feel like you
No one I know would believe this is me
I’m feeling so alone now
I just can’t forget you in that place
I’m haunted by how long you had to live that way
I’m closing my eyes I’m losing my way
I’m feeling kinda desperate

I just can’t seem to get my life together
I wonder if I just could disappear
I hope you rest in peace I hope I never let you down
I thought of that today, I think about it everyday

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